it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
