Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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