A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
