he thought i was a dude.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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