I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Randomize
