My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
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