Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
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