Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
