I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
