She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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