Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize