FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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