awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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