Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
