Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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