Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
