i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
