he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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