Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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