a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
