when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
