It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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