Whod you bang
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
