remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
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