A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
