If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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