I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
