I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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