I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
