I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I need help removing her.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
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