Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I want to make a zoo with you.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
My vagina just recognized that song.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
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