so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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