So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
