home. puking in laundry basket.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Randomize
