I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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