The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
