Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
