I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
