You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
whose parrot is this?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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