Having a random hookup so left but love u
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
