$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
