Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
