Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize