You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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