I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
