FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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