Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It's just like the Real World with babies
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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