Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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