my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
