My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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