I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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