He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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