just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
