You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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