Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
