ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
