great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
