her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
