So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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