Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
