Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
