so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
