Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
