listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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