So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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