she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
